Do you know that feeling, that you have to do something.....but can´t quite remember what?
This story is just that.
I remember being told to write it but I can´t remember what I was supposed to tell you. What I do know is that everything I am going to tell you really happened, even though it may unbelievable sometimes.
Hit Rewind to start from Chapter One
Chapter 4
It was warm and summery on Friday afternoon and I couldn't wait.
We're going to eat together, for the first time.
This felt so good, too good to be honest. Like getting ready to taste the forbidden fruit.
Not sure how long it took us to set up this little date. I do remember hanging over the bar a little, telling her I would love to take her out for dinner one day. "Just you and me, so we can finally talk without everyone here keeping an eye on us."
Because we knew or at least thought that our aura of super-inflated affection was visible to all. And unfortunately, all knew that we were not meant to be together.
I've been in this crazy state for months. Constantly hoping to meet again, to see her walk in the door, to just look at her, and now the time has come. I have never felt like this, going crazy over a woman, this was not a crush, this was madness.
When I pick her up at the station she beams, we walk together towards the restaurant and I don't know where to put my arm. I actually want to hold her against me and then not let her go. But till now I did not get beyond a hug and a long look into her dark eyes. In the restaurant, we could finally talk and we did. We talked so much that I don´t remember a word we said.
I do remember standing outside the restaurant hours later and sheepishly looking at each other. This was our first real date, I shouldn´t say this. I should not even think this, but maybe I would never get the chance again. I decided to throw it out there anyway. "Shall we go to my house, at least we won't meet anyone we know there?"
She looks at me, my god those eyes that smile she takes my hand and looks at me for a moment, "That's fine with me."
Even though I was still a pretty poor student, we took a taxi and in a few minutes, we were behind the closed door of my student room.
Everything went fast, we didn't need words. Her hands on my buttocks, my hands under her shirt, caressing her curves to strip her of the first layer a little later. All other layers of clothing followed within minutes.
The desire to feel her soft naked body, to knead her full hips had smoldered for months and was now being released. After months of doubt, I turned out not to have been wrong.
We were both trapped in different lives, still, we had both felt it, suppressed it, and lost. Because here we were, together. She with her head on my shoulder sharing a joint together after we did what we wanted to do months ago.
Was this what love at first sight felt like, was this forbidden love? What made her the most special woman in my life? I had plenty of girlfriends, but this overpowering desire to be with someone was new. During that moment of talking in bed, it became clear that she had felt similar erratic feelings since we met.
We did just make the next step, no way I wanted to go back now. I wanted more, more of her. But she was leaving, she needed to be somewhere else and I was left in my little room with the light mint green walls thinking about how I could woo her when I had absolutely nothing to offer her but myself.
Daniella and I met up more and more. In secret at first, but the secret we had was slowly shared. I wanted nothing more than to tell the world she was mine, but Daniella was more careful. No matter how intense her feelings were for her, a part of her still clung to her soon-to-be ex.
My girlfriend was already exed. As soon as University started again she admitted to having met someone over the summer and so did I.
We parted as friends, something we probably were all along.
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