Life teaches us various lessons at various point in our lives. We do not have to personally go through these experiences to learn these lessons. We can learn many of them from family and friends if we are open to learning. Here are some of the lessons I learned from life and from family and friends which I would like to share with my boys who are young men now. I know you are smart and know these things that I would like to tell you, but I want you to understand and internalize them as well.
I remember clearly thinking these thoughts on that morning of October 2021 as I was prepared for an angiogram (which turned out to be an angioplastic surgery) I wanted to tell my sons a few things, which I did eventually when the older son came to see me a few minutes later.
Family is all we have.
Love your family, care for them and never give up on them. I come from a family which was closely knit, but as each of my brothers got married they slowly drifted away from the bond we had built. I want to tell my boys family is all we have, family is what stands by us in times of need. Our family trust in us and believes in us to an extent they are blind to our faults. I told my son just before they moved me to the operation theater (much ahead of schedule because I was having a heart attack) take care of your brother. He is strong willed but he is a child at heart, don't give up on him. Now, I'd like to say always be close to each other. He is all you have and you are all he will have after your dad and I are gone. Love each other they way we have loved you and treated you.
Value life.
As doctor and doctor to be you both need to put the life of your patients first. You may treat hundreds of patients every day, but each patient has only one life, value it. Remember the times when your mom or dad were going through health issues and how you felt, its the same with your patients families. Treat them with respect, explain to them as best as you can in the given circumstances. Never treat your patient as a 'case'.
Be happy.
Life is short, do the things that you love doing, live life without regrets. Don't second guess yourself on the decision you have made, move on, do the best you can and live each day with joy. Life is to be lived, regrets stop the flow of joy in your life. Don't squander your life away on regrets.
Value yourself.
No matter what anyone tells you, you need to value yourself. Remember that each person has unique abilities and you have some. You are gifted and your gifting is different from those of the others, don't let their judgement of you stop you from believing in yourself. You are such amazing boys, continue to be who you are and become better versions of yourself.
Be men of integrity
Do what you do to the best of your ability. Be men of integrity, it doesn't matter who is watching over you or not, do everything you do as if you do it for your God. Be honest in everything you do, own your mistake, all of us make them. To err is human, but learn from your mistakes is divine.
Don't let money guide your decisions.
We need money, but money is not everything. Money can buy stuff but it never buy love or the things that matter the most. You can always earn money, but always try to earn the love and respect of people. At the end of life that would be the only thing that matters. Never fight over money when it comes to family. Don't let money divide you.
Never hate people.
People may do things we don't like but don't hate them for that. People change and become better just as we ourselves do with age and experience. Forgive, let go, for your own sake.
Listen
Listen to what others have to say. Everyone has a valid point to contribute, just because you are in a position or place where you opinion is held high do not discard the ideas of others. Respect others and you'll find others respecting you more. You learn more by listening than by talking.
Change is life.
Change with the times, adapt to the growth that is happening around you, but never compromise on values in the process. The better we adapt the more we can enjoy life.
Learn
Learn, update your knowledge even if you are an expert in it. Facts change as discoveries happen. Never be left behind. Learning keeps you young, no matter how old you are. Learning is not just in the area of your profession or technology, there is much to learn from life, learn from the wisdom of your peers and elders.
Do what you love, if not learn to love what you do.
This is the only way to enjoy life. It may not always be possible to do what you love. To my younger son I say this, " You may not become an F1 driver or drive fancy cars (who knows you might later) but that's not the end of life. New models of cars come and go everyday, but your life is of more value than cars, enjoy the races, the drivers but make the profession of your choice be the driving passion of your life. Save lives, is there anything greater than that in life? Someday, I hope to watch you make breakthroughs in cancer treatment."
Be an inspiration
Remember aunt Saro, she never let her limitations and handicaps limit her, she was such an inspiration to us. Don't ever let anything limit your ability to become experts in your field. Teach what you know to others struggling as beginners. Lift people up, never push them down. Be the person others can approach for help.
Live healthy
Don't compromise on health take care of yourselves. Your patients need you, your family needs you. If you are healthy you can achieve much more than you can do with health issues. A lesson I never learned. Learn this form your mom. 😅
Take vacations
Most of all take vacations, breaks are as important as hard work. You need a break from the kind of work you do, a break changes your outlook on life and gives you different perspective on the things you do and the way you do them. You will come back charged to do better work.
Be a good human
Position and power are not important, being a good human is. Take care, love yourself a little so you can love others more.
You are your decisions
Like I always say you are the end product of your decisions, so make sure you take the right decisions, if not make sure you make things right. Never let anything remain unresolved.
You are loved
Remember you are both loved and you are so valuable to your dad and I. We stand by you in everything you do. Do what is right!
Death of a loved one
Death is not the end. It is the time to celebrate life of the loved one and celebrate the memories you've created with the person. Make sure you make great memories every day.
This is may not be all I have to say on the subject but I guess I have listed the most important ones here. I know that you'll read this some day Kevin, so I leave this for you.
Image/s used in this post belong to me and are from my personal photo collection.