"Song of the Bluejay" in the key of FU

CHIRP.

Oh hello there you beautiful bluejay.


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CHIRP.

How you doing this morning little guy?


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CHIRP.

Aww, look at that, he landed on my car! Cute!


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CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP

Sure wish I could understand ya buddy.


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CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP
(Hey fuck you you piece of shit human! I'm taking a shit on your car!)

Someday we'll probably have the technology to understand what birds are saying. Wonder if I'll still be alive then.


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CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP
(I saw you throw your used toilet paper in the bushes you asshat! Wanna know how many shits I give about that? All of them, right on your car!)

Probably not.


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CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP
(Haven't you monsters done enough damage already? And now you're just gonna leave your crap trash lying around like that?)

Hmm, maybe I should be recording this so future generations can translate it. Haha funny idea.


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CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP
(How self-centered and heedless are you humans!)

Well I guess I should probably get up and make some food or something.


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CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP
(You wreck the woods, rip the mountains apart, and fill the oceans with plastic and hazardous waste! You hoard resources while others of your own kind suffer from want of them! You bulldoze and blast the earth to build your precious roads and railways, and you load them up with trucks and trains moving unnaturally fast, but do you bother to put up fences to prevent the rest of the animal kingdom from wandering directly into the death trap you’ve created? No, and when we do, you have the cojones to actually get angry when your car kills or maims one of us. Whose fault is that, really? Which came first, the roads or the animals? Let us not forget that the fuel powering your umpteen-wheeled vehicles is made of dead animals! How endlessly egoistic and inconsiderate are you, human! You, a member of the worst species in the whole world, and blissfully ignorant of such!)

Well well, someone's feeling a bit chatty today aren't we!

CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP
(And so do I shit here upon your car, with great pride and vengeance I do here shit, as you sit smugly over there in your dumb little camp chair drinking Nescafé out of your stupid little mug admiring a sky of lovely sunrise reds intensified by fires your fellow humans lit and lost control of!)

Haha damn.

CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP
(And lo, I have no more shits left to shit upon your car, for I have shat my last! Your hood and side windows are disgusting but this situation could definitely be much worse! I must now go to summon the rest of my bluejay brethren and return with them hither for additional shitting! Enjoy your instant coffee and terminal thoughtlessness while you still can you little earthfucker prick!)

Huh, maybe he's just hungry or someth—

CHIRP
(Away!)

Ope! There he goes. Well have a good day fella!


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6-24-21. Another gorgeous morning in the mountains! Love it up here! I'm hungry so I think I'll make a scramble in a bit. Sausage red bell peppers onions and maybe some avocado. Need to get this one on video for my YouTube channel! P.S. I just saw a bluejay and I think he really liked me!

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