I went into the forest to find a tree,

and behold, I found a tree.

Here is the tree I found:

Location: Somewhere in the Pike National Forest just north of Divide, Colorado.

And here is a list of all the things that happened after I found this tree:

1. I changed my mind about hanging myself from a tree in the Pike National Forest just north of Divide, Colorado
2. I hiked back to my car and drove home
3. I opened a beer and wrote this short story

The end.