been watching a lot of G.I. Joe on youtube. Hasbro has a channel that live streams episodes 24/7
If you remember that cartoon...It's just a stupid as you remember. What a time it must have been to be a writer. There's no internet, no twitter, no streaming service to immediately re-watch anything that seemed like a flaw, or even a pause button. Hell, even no reason to believe any adult is going to watch more than 30 seconds of it, because it's for 10 year olds and no one gives a fuck/ Just show the toys and make sure there's loud explosions. It is just one scene after the next of sheer nonsense that defies whatever the premise is, the laws of physics, and the laws of time space and dimension. If someone is shooting from on top of a building, two seconds later they may be shooting while in a diving suit in the ocean.
It is charming as fuck.
Mostly it is...except for the times it tries to be something more than a 30 minute toy commercial. I assume these are the times the writers, for reasons I personally would not be able to grasp, try to jam some actual writing into the mess.
G.I.Joe "worlds without end" Part 1 and 2
The first thing to point out here is that either via shenanigans, passive aggressiveness or a argument about creative pursuit...the skin tight suits on the lady Cobra solders go from skin tight...to just skin, sporadically.
so that's fun...
what?
...I screen-capped those for the sake of review.
Look, I didn't do the storyboards for this...although I have done storyboards for cartoons. The phrase "every frame a painting" comes to mind, meaning - be aware of the composition on the screen as though it was a single painting. Understanding that principle of being deliberate in your storyboards...let's all absorb that this scene was in a kid's cartoon ...
anyways...the plot of this 2 part episode is a GI Joe team gets caught in the explosion of an experimental device and wind up transported into a parallel universe where Cobra took over the world. Most of the first part is them slowly figuring out what happened to them, and the second part is them dealing with it and finding a way back home.
...their way home from a parallel universe.
I assure you the "exposition" (explaining something to the audience via the dialogue and reactions of the characters)...is clunky as fuck because the audience is fucking 10 years olds who don't give a shit. They actually explained it more than they needed to. They could have just said "we're in another universe because....we are." and have them go back to blowing things up.
Better that, than to try to explain quantum string theory via some broad shooting a laser rifle at a guy with a metal face and cartoon cobra on his shirt. It's a theory which is bullshit anyhow. "infinite parallel universes" ...Bullshit of the highest order. any scientific theory that's based on the concept of "infinite" is bullshit. Because "infinite" is un-provable and un-quantifiable and mathematically unusable. It's horseshit.
Look...these "parallel universes", they contain matter, yes? well matter is NOT infinite. The "big bang" may have occurred in an endless/infinite universe but the explosion dispersed a FINITE amount of matter. You cannot create infinite universes from a finite amount of matter.
This multiverse theory that suggests that the incalculable amount of energy needed to create the big bang...happened an infinite amount of times. where did this energy come from and what is the catalyst AND....aaannnnndddd ....if all these universes came from the exact spec of matter that was the seed of the big bang there is NO reason there would be ANY divergence. There would be an infinite number of exactly the same universes. There was nothing...and then the big bang ( this is the theory) so WHAT, pray tell, would be the variable out there that would have caused any divergence??? and by the way you'd need an infinite amount of that variable affecting each big bang in infinite amounts of ways.
They have no answers for any of this because it's all bullshit. Complete and utter bullshit. that is obviously bullshit if you ever learned the laws of thermo dynamics, or at least just the first one---
The first law, also known as Law of Conservation of Energy, states that energy cannot be created or destroyed in an isolated system.
Therefor any Divergence in a time stream which would create a parallel universe would not only require the same amount matter and energy to create it as was needed to create the first timeline BUT ALSO that matter and energy would need to exist/come from that same time stream itself. ...so this whole 2 part episode is a buncha bullshit...
but, I'm gonna give that all a pass....
One of the Joes...I forget his name, let's call him Blonde, finds out that in this universe the Baroness is actually a double agent and thus a good guy and not only that, she was dating that universes' version of Blonde. Which means THIS Blonde can pretty much have at it!
Can you even imagine the bedroom antics you could get someone to do to you after they thought you were dead!?
Here's the problem though, WHY is she a good guy in this universe? The answer to that might be the opposite reason she was a bad guy in the other universe. Meaning...all the history, perhaps parental abandonment or anything else that made her a hot mess...might not have happened to this version of her. Which, to my thinking, makes her much less of a trophy. Bad guy Baroness I'll bet has no upper limit on what is game one in bed. But good girl Baroness without any daddy issues or head full of fucked up wiring, might not be so adventurous.
Blonde decides to stay in this universe and the other Joe's jump through the portal back to their original timeline. He makes this decision with good guy Baroness hanging on his arm in adoration. If this were me writing, the last scene would be a close up of a picture she has on her wall of her and her Dad...who in this universe she has a very healthy relationship with and always has...a sad trombone would play, the roll credits.
All in all, one of the more entertaining episodes so far. Lot's of shooting, there were some robot snakes, and it has plenty of Destro and Zartan.
and...that's how I spend my free time now. :/
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