The one you didn't send

How much power is in the unsaid? You might be tempted to think that there is no power at all, that a gesture, a word, an action which did not went to the receiving end were pretty much useless. On some degree, I agree. But sometimes, there is great power in the unsaid. Why?

First of all, we humans are driven by emotions. Sending a message when you are hurt, angry, sad, makes you vulnerable in front of biases. You can't think straight and use your reason, therefore what you feel and think won't get through your emotional clutter.

Sometimes taking your time is good. Think before opening your mouth, you can't take hurtful things back. Think before acting irrationaly, you won't manage to repair the damage easily. Think before a final radical decision, it will take time to get back what you once took for granted.

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I find writing to be therapeutic. I wish I would live the times when people used to write physical letters to each other. You see, you can always throw away the first letter when it comes from an angry place and send only the second or the third, when you ego softened enough for you to tell how you really feel to the other person.Think before you act, be proactive instead of reactive. Seek to understand rather than to be understood.

Nowadays social media and technology made information to be easily transmitted. But the process of emotional connection is now harder than ever. This is wrong. Communication is not about emojis, sms texts and e-mails and instastories. Communication can be a hug, a smile, a tear in the eye, an emotion of regret on the face of a lover, a feeling of closeness from the embrace of a friend.

We all have a load of unsaid in us. I have written yesterday a letter. A personal apology letter. I might never send it and keep it for myself. It helped me to write it, how much will it help me (not) to send it? I wonder how many more people keep their unsent letters.... How many swallowed their words, buried their emotions and moved on. I wonder how much peace they felt THEN versus how much peace they feel NOW. Communication can solve problems, if you learn to do it right, in the language of the other. Most of the times, we speak foreign languages and get stuck. In the unsaid.

What if you say it? What if you don't? In both of the cases, you'll have to be the judge of that. I would evaluate the outcome on a peace level. I believe in having inner peace. I don't yet know how much of this can be achieved through the said/unsaid. I am still figuring out the right proportions. I guess we all are. Even if we say it or we don't.

This is the latest article from my personal blog
https://maryhasnolamb.wordpress.com/2020/07/17/the-one-you-didnt-send/

Have a blessed day and toodle loo!

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