At the start of the year I had a friendship take a nasty hit and despite assurances and promises that this friend of mine wouldn't cut me off, did just that. Of course it's far more complicated than that sentence but details aren't entirely necessary here today. When the friendship ended I was extremely hurt and wounded but had thought that I had come out of the whole situation relatively unscathed. As that person was shoved out of my life rather forcefully another person came into my life - "Squish"
The new friendship was really hard and tested me in many ways, most of all with trust. As promised by both of us we chose to always be honest and forthright. Whilst this is a rather refreshing approach it has led to a lot of vulnerability and the urge to follow the fight or flight response has been one that I still struggle with. Bless the tolerance and patience of Squish they have always responded politely to my "have I done anything wrong?" questions. After the video I posted in my last post I really do see just how much the fear of abandonment comes into my life.
Talking to my friends @Ratticus and Squish I am slowly starting to feel like parts of me which had kind of gone into hiding are coming back.
Now if I could just remember when I'm having a freak out that I do have a small but damn good support network would be great
*Image from office space