Artist credit: unknown
I was genuinely hoping that this was a story that I could put off writing, into the far FAR future, but recent events occurring across the oceans in "The Land of the Free” have my blood boiling and I honestly can’t think of a time more important for us to stand together as women and support our sisters in the US, and globally (since the US was supposed to be subsidising family planning in underdeveloped countries around the world too).
The Trump administration did damage to the management of women’s reproductive health that America (and the world) will be recovering from for decades, if ever at all.
I am not American, I have no right to vote there and I also have a very rudimentary understanding of how their politics work, but my holy SHIT has the new administration failed terribly.
Women make up 50.8% of the population of the US.
Let that sink in.
There are MORE women than there are men in America, but the constitutional right to body autonomy is being stripped away, state by state.
That.
Is something to SCREAM about.
It’s all fine and well to climb on the Pro-lifer bandwagon, but it’s incredibly convenient to pick a cause that you don't have to give a crap about once it’s birthed. Unlike fighting poverty, drug addiction or helping those with disabilities, the cause pro-lifers are fighting for refreshes each time a baby is born.
I was 15 years old when I fell pregnant for the 1st time. 15. Not legally able to consent to even having sex, never mind able to look after myself, nevermind a baby. Good God.
I had an abortion.
Yes it haunted me for life. Yes I would STILL go back in time and do it AGAIN, IF I couldn’t fix falling pregnant in the 1st place.
I, without a doubt, know I made the right decision. I was extremely lucky to have an excellent doctor and the support of my boyfriend’s family at the time (who had practically adopted me, since I was living on my own and fending for myself after my mother and sister abandoned caring for me at the end of 2000).
This meant I was not shamed by the healthcare workers who treated me. My boyfriend’s parents, who were conservative Christians, still supported our decision - which was by no means taken lightly- and I had my whole family with me.
My mother was able to fly down from the UK, my sister and her boyfriend came to the hospital and my boyfriend and his entire family were waiting for me when I went in and were there for me when I came out.
22 years later, I still have horrendous nightmares. I still cry. It still hurts. And I still hate myself for what happened. But my fuck. Am I grateful that no one forced me to be a mother at 16 years old. I am grateful no one forced my 21 year old boyfriend to be a father, because God knows we would have fucked that up ROYALLY.
And no. I knew there was NO way, in my underweight and traumatised state in the year 2001 (I had JUST recovered from anorexia, dropping out of school and serious drug abuse problems) that I was going to carry a baby to term and give it up for adoption.
The procedure was performed at the best private facility available and aside from heavy bleeding for a day or two, not a single scar was left on me physically, leaving me fully capable of growing and birthing a beautiful baby boy, when I was ready to do so, more than a decade into the future.
12 years after my abortion, I fell pregnant with my son. The 1st scan I saw of him was real time video and projected for my ex husband and I to see with the heartbeat at full volume. Matthew was at the exact same gestation period as the fetus I aborted when I was 16. I spent my whole pregnancy convinced that God would punish me and either me or my son or both of us would die before he was able to take his 1st breath. He's 10 years old next month. In order for me to be the mother I am for him today, it was necessary to make that incredibly painful decision I made, 22 years ago.
This story goes HORRIBLY wrong if you change any of these factors. What if my family had shamed me? What if my boyfriend’s family had not forked out the R5000 required for the procedure and aftercare? What if my government had forced me to carry and give birth to a child I had no guarantee would even live, when there was no guarantee that I would live either?
What if I went for a backstreet abortion and was never able to have children ever again, due to physical and mental trauma?
I know women personally who have gone for abortions and have been handed a paracetamol, strapped down and attacked with a crochet needle. I cannot possibly comprehend the agony.
The risk of torturous pain and irreparable psychological damage to the mother, as well as (depending on the stage of pregnancy) unnecessarily prolonged discomfort to the fetus are all terrifying and stark realities when you strip away a woman’s right to chose whether or not to proceed with a pregnancy, or chose safe and humane termination.
I still reiterate that f I had to go back in time, I would make the same decision again. I agree fully that there is a miniscule proportion of women who abuse the system because of their poor contraception management and that should be managed better. I do believe that that miniscule percentage does not justify putting the rest of the female population at risk and taking their right to safe abortion away.
Abortion is as old as time.
If you think writing down on a piece of paper, and promulgating it into law: that a woman is criminally liable if she choses to terminate her pregnancy, will stop abortions from occurring, you are as feeble as your government.
All you are doing is denying women the right to SAFE abortion.
No.
This is not what Jesus would do.
