Something precious about everyday life

Hi, guys!

For several days I did not make new publications, because I really hoped that my condition would be better. But no, it seemed. The doctor and I knew very well that in the end this was exactly what would happen, technically we were ready for this, and so, we waited.

A month ago, I experienced an acute mania, with an exit into psychotic symptoms. After that, I was in a mixed episode for a month. In bipolar disorder, mixed episodes include traits of both mania and depression. And you never know what exactly will prevail. Initially, the symptoms of mania prevailed in me, and then gradually depression, and now, a few days ago it became very likely that I still slipped down.

The fact is that if there was a manic episode, especially of such a force as mine, the onset of depression then will not stop, and God, not like the doctor. But we tried very hard to soften this process. Apparently, it did not work out very well, although I cannot judge reliably.

The fact is that the brighter and more active the mania was, the deeper and more severe the depression. This is due to the balance of neurotransmitters in the brain, and if the swing began to move, especially with a wide amplitude, it is very difficult to stop them. And who knows, most likely, if my doctor and I did not use the entire arsenal that we had, in order to keep, at least slightly slow down this amplitude - now everything would be much worse, and most likely this is how it was would.

A small miracle happened this morning. I have a tradition. Before starting work, I go outside, grab a cup of matches and drink it, trying to get some fresh air and face the sun. Now I go mostly in ripped jeans, I like this style. And a butterfly sat on my knee. I must say they do it very often, apparently, they like me for something.

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An even greater miracle is that u managed to photograph her. When I was undergoing treatment there were a lot of butterflies, and they constantly sat on my lap, but I did not manage to catch a single one on camera. And this one was in time.

Also look what kind of boyfriend my dog has today.

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See you in the next post!
Love, Inber

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