The Ultimate Guide to KILLING it on Hive (Part 1 of 37)

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Ahhhh. The How to guides for newbies.

They have always been a popular subject here on Hive. They never go out of vogue. Indeed, as the active user base decreases, stagnates goes from strength to strength, we seem to get more and more of these easy earners invaluable guides.

I felt that perhaps it was time I weighed in with some incredible advice from my many years of blockchain boogying on how to truly kill it here on Hive.

Read on for guaranteed MILLIONS! of vests...maybe... or not


What and When should I Post?

Post often. People love lots of posts from one author. It induces a Pavlovian voting response in them and in time they will shower you with votes. They might not all be uppies but hey, attention is attention, right?

What should I write about?

There are many opinions on how to carve out your niche. Be yourself! Write what you know about is the advice from many.

Well, fuck that. You ain't got time for that shit on your way to becoming a crypto millionaire. Why bother writing about yourself and your own interests when you can just grab some random content from Coindesk, badly reword it and insert a shitty picture of a Lion at the top!

Or if crypto isn't your thing, blag a random recipe for good living from somewhere on the net and copy-paste it along with a nice close-up picture of a raindrop on a leaf at the top of your post or even a pile of pebbles on a beach.

It never fails to excite. Honest.

Receiving Comments

Sometimes one of your posts may get a comment from another user, although this is exceedingly unlikely, it can be annoying when it happens. Some people say that you should respond to comments from other users but if you do respond, you run the risk of encouraging them to comment more. So, it is best to ignore them and if they comment repeatedly you can always mute them.

Writing comments

Whilst answering other peoples comments is widely seen as a tawdry activity akin to stirring a pot full of hot shit, making comments on other posts is an absolute requirement when climbing the giddy heights to Hive glory.

This means you should comment and comment a LOT.

Start with the Trending page. Drop a comment on all those hugely popular posts.

Good comment examples include.

Nice Post - everyone loves to hear how nice their post is.

I follow you now - people love knowing they are being followed. Except for my ex-girlfriend, she fucking hates it for some odd reason.

Good morning dear. The old-timers on the platform love this. Who doesn't love being called dear? Especially when it is a creepy moustachioed man with an erection that is saying it.

Going Tribal

So, we all know that people come to Hive to talk about Hive but you might not have known that there are communities on Hive where you can talk about other things?

For example, we have LeoFinance where people come together to talk about LeoFinance.

Or StemGeeks where you can post all of your plagiarised respun well thought out content inspired by something you read on Techradar.

We even have communities dedicated to Charity such as Project Hope which through clever means seeks to enrich all of its users with votes if they pay it money. I think they might need to double check the definition of charity though...?

The choices are endless, so start browsing and joining communities that catch your eye, now!

If that sounds like too much effort, just use their tags and collect all of the monies. Using another front end such as PeakD is good for this as it allows you to spam input up to 10 tags

Who doesn't love a tag spammer?

Wait, did I say use another front end?

Why yes. Yes, I did. So let's talk alternative front ends and by that, I don't mean the infamous dark clam.

But wait, it seems we are at the back end of this post so the front end talk will have to wait till the most splendid Part 2...

Tune in next week for Part 2 of The Ultimate Guide to KILLING it on Hive

To all those who have lovingly created many useful guides for Hivers. Please don't take this post as a dig. We love your work. This post is more of an anti-guide taking the piss out of the behaviours of the bad apples that arrive and demand it all and demand it now.

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