My COVID19 Journey

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For weeks I disappeared into the social/virtual world to face something I've never faced before, an experience I never knew I would encounter.

I would like to share with you my personal experience of COVID19 to let you all know that it is indeed real and we should all be careful especially now as I have heard that the cases have then again raised in numbers.

Sometimes no matter how hard you try distractions are inevitable. Well at least for me I guess. These past few weeks I have encountered something that we fear most these days; The virus. It was one of the frightful experiences and without the people around me and of course God I don't think I could've ever survived.

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It all started with the flu. One person to another, and I was the last to get infected. I was so confident that my immune system was stronger than anyone else's in the household because I didn't get any of the symptoms. But, it turned out that I had quite a bad record of sickness way back. Which got me startled perceiving that we didn't know what was going to happen.

I tried not to worry that much but unfortunately, I wasn't able to stop the worries. All the emotions came to me when I saw family members coming to our home to bring us food supplies, medicines, and whatever else we needed. I suddenly got emotional upon seeing them come. I felt as if they were so near but yet so far. All I wanted was to hug them tightly and let them know that I was so frightened of the things that were happening.

I ran as fast as I could to the bathroom and decided to let my emotions flow and just cry it all out. The first two nights I couldn't help but stay up all night and think of the many possibilities of the situation that we were in.

And then it struck me. When I was so busy thinking about the situation that we were stuck in and pitying ourselves that we were even in this situation I forgot that It wasn't for me to worry about. I forgot about the promises that God made and focused so much on the problem more than the solution.

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God was all I needed and he knew that I was afraid. Death passed through my mind wondering if this was it if this was "the end of the line". I remember the prayer I said the night that felt as if I couldn't control my breathing anymore. I remember hearing myself whisper to the air telling God "Pa, whatever it is that may happen I hope we may all accept the outcome of all of this, I have accepted death long ago when you came into my life and I know where I'm going when I leave this world, may the people who love and care for me accept it to" As I remember it now I can see how negativity consumes us slowly especially in situations like this. How I never knew I was ever going to say that like I was giving up on my life.

As some people in my life were expecting so much of me I was there feeling like I couldn't hold on any longer. What motivated me the most was my mom. She was responsible to take care of all of us all at once and at the same time feeling the sickness we all were experiencing. I slowly lost my taste buds, my sense of smell, and even my voice. Coughing every single time I try to breathe. Being tired is tiring.

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As of feeling like I couldn't hold on any longer, there was still this part of me that has kept peace deep within despite everything that was happening. That part of me was also the one who kept on telling me that everything was going to be okay. A voice in my head that kept me going in the times that I didn't understand. And I believe that the voice that I heard in my head was a gift from God to keep me going. In situations like this, you'll have to keep a positive mindset.

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I know that being sick is a feeling I don't wanna feel because at the time that I was my body kept holding me back and keeping me on my bed hence not being able to write or do things that I usually do on a daily and that includes annoying my little sister. As soon as I got better the first thing that I did was annoy her and went to play with my son Leo the dog. My sickness also meant that I couldn't attend my classes because I needed a lot of rest. But, there are some things that you just can't escape like 16 of my missing activities are real-life proof that I couldn't escape anything even when my whole world stopped because of this virus.

Thankfully "wondering" is a thing because without it I'd just be laying in my bed looking at the walls which by the way I also did when nothing came into my mind. Which I think only happened for a short period of time given that my mind did not run out of things to wonder about. There were a lot of things that came every 2 in the morning because I always managed to wake up in the middle of the night wondering...

Isolation was far worst somehow the way we couldn't really interact with each other. In our journey, I discovered that the situation was able to bring me closer to God. As I have learned from a friend who also experienced the things that I have. When all seem uncertain God always manages to try and turn the situation all the way around. How he lets me realize the silver linings of every negative situation I get in.

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Let's spread awareness of Covid19 and help each other to get through all this, and along the way may we realize the things God wants us to.

Until then keep wondering hivers!


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kcwonders

Kcwonders is an easy-going teenager, Christ-follower who loves to write about the things she wonders about. In her blog, she shares her faith, life experiences, and the lessons she learned along the way. Her goal is to spread the word of God, positivity, motivation and hopefully inspire you guys on this platform. Reading and writing is something she loves to do on a daily just next to annoying her little sister.

If you love what she writes, it will mean much to her if you leave some love, upvote, and leave a comment. She loves to read your feedback's on her posts. You surely won't regret reading her content ❤

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