My daughter and I always have a casual talk before going to sleep. Our night time routine includes reading a bed time story to her (right now, we're reading through The Blue Fairy Book), then we talk about everything that transpired throughout the day. This is in this nightly talks that we get to close the day before we sleep. When she had done something terrible or upsetting during the day, she takes this chance to apologize. It seemed a bit more intimate and honest, and sweet when she does this before we sleep. We do correct any misbehavior right away as soon as it happens and we talk about it right away but sometimes she'd like to do an extra personal apology, in the bedroom right before we call it a night.
It is during these night time talks when she asks me the most mind boggling questions. When she was three she once asked me "Nanay, do dinosaurs fart?" Then as she grows older, her question evolved into something a bit more difficult to answer like "Nanay, how did I get inside your tummy?" And just a couple of weeks ago, she was telling me how happy she is that she is homeschooled. She then asked me "Why did you choose to homeschool me?"
I believe there was a contest in the community a few months back about this and it slipped my mind and was unable to join it. But my daughter's question got me back into thinking why I chose to homeschool her. Coincidentally, I was reading Charlotte Mason's Home Education and came upon the section in page 171: Three Questions for the Mother.
She must ask herself seriously, Why must the children learn at all? What should they learn? And, How should they learn it? If she take the trouble to find a definite and thoughtful answer to each of these three queries, she will be in a position to direct her children's studies
When we were just starting out with our homeschooling journey, I don't have the slightest idea what to do. All I know is that I want to make sure that before my daughter goes out into the world, she is a well rounded individual with all the core values we hold dear instilled deeply in her heart, and all the necessary skillsets she needs to thrive in this broken world. Thinking about it right now, there's a voice in my head that says I'm just being dreamy. That it's an impossible task. It might be, but I owe it to my daughter to at least try.
Now reflecting on what CM said in that little passage, why must the children learn at all? It made me think deep about the way I was schooled. Because if she was not homeschooled, that's the alternative. I went to school because I wanted to finish college so that I could have a diploma so that I could have a job. Along the way, I learned that I went to school so that I could get good grades. And so I study so that I would know what to answer in the examinations. I learn back then so that I could pass exams. The main why of my learning was so that I could have a decent vocation when I grow up.
I did not want that for my kid. She should learn because that's the only way she would grow as an individual. She should learn so that she herself could pass on the learnings to others when she grows up. Not because there's an exam she needs to pass, or a grade she needs to reach or a medal she needs to take home. She needs to learn so that she would know and understand. Because if she truly understands, then she would truly care. In this world full of mindless deeds, there needs to be a generation of individuals that care not just about themselves but about the world in general. When I look at my fellow homeschooling families, it makes me believe that it is possible to achieve that. I see that passion and mindfulness in my daughter and her fellow homeschooled kids.
A mother also needs to ask herself, what does she want her kids to learn? What should the children learn? Is it important that the first grader knows the different parts of a book? Or is it more important that they learn to love reading? Is it important that a kindergartener learn how to write their name? Or is it much better that these kids learn the words that describe their emotions? Do they need to learn how to count money or is it more important that they know the value of money?
I asked myself what do I think should my daughter learn? I figured she needed to first know how to express her emotions. I wanted her to learn to love appreciate reading and to learn to love learning. I wanted her to know that her curiosity is a tool she can use to discover new things in the world. More important than learning to do kiddie programming, I wanted her to learn to explore nature all around her.
And the last question was How should the children learn the things they should learn? My daughter experienced the exam based learning during her kindergarten. She said that was the worst year of her life. She did not enjoy the review time, the restricted lessons, the dry facts that she was reading on her books. Most of the times she disagreed with what was stated in the books. There was an exam about the senses where the instruction was to match the body part to the object it is for. Like the eyes is for the scenery, the nose is for the flower, the ears is for the telephone and the last one said that the hands is for the boiling kettle. My daughter said that seeing the picture, "I wouldn't touch that boiling kettle. I'll just use my eyes for that." I couldn't argue with that.
This is when I knew that I needed to find a new homeschooling provider. And happy to say, I found the best teaching method for my little one. It matters how the student is being taught. If they are bombarded with exams, their only motivation would be to get good numbers. If they get used to those external motivators, once you remove those, the drive to learn will also disappear.
So to answer her question Why do we homeschool, I can say that it is because schools rely on systems. Which is a really efficient way given that each classroom consists of 50 or more students. Teachers have their jobs cut out for them. These systems, while it gives efficiency is not 100% effective in creating well rounded individuals. Teachers still need the parents to follow through at home. Afterall, home is still the best place to educate children. It is ultimately the parents responsibility to make sure their children are properly educated.
I have cut that need for a follow through when I homeschooled my kid. I know why my daughter should learn. We have a purpose, not just a goal. In the family, we all know that values always take precedent when it comes to learning. We make sure that we instill the core values we hold dear to our little one. And most importantly, we have full discretion on how our little learner will learn her lessons, moral, physical, intellectual, and spiritual.
