Last Friday, I dreamt that I met a series of dark entities concentrated into two main images: a dark-skinned man with eyes black as pit looking me in the eye, and a tribal priest in unusually disarrayed attire, headwear and makeup. I knew instantly what they were, violent entities of great material power, the expression of abusers, killers and tyrants. The priest was the distillation of many entities of death and decay, some of whom I've already explored in recent years. I was never afraid and they expressed no hostility toward me, on the contrary, they were thankful and stood aside to let me pass to another level of the structure in which we were, a big white house with many hallways and doors.
This was a day prior to my visit to downtown Caracas to drink with my two closest cousins, Alí and Lennín. During the whole trip, I sat drawing silently in the subway while a preacher spoke against Satan (while mentioning him way too often) and a drunkard pretty much reflected that energy back at him in the form of loud insults and complaints. When I arrived to my destination, I found the way to my aunt's house very much steeped in that vibration: security forces doing the rounds, prostitution, dusty streets in disrepair. I did what I could to increase the Light in the area.
My cousins themselves circulate in realms that connect them, mostly unknowingly, with its dense vibration too. It's part of their purpose and I have no say in it, but I love them and I had to get a good look at how they were. I found them healthy of body and more united than before as brothers, but still deep into their narratives. Due to my current process, I heard many things that I had to listen to without judgment or reaction. My eldest cousin, Alí, is already training his self-awareness, but Lennín, who constantly expected me to say or do something to support his thinking, was unnerved by my attitude. Like most other people, none of them is sure of what I'm doing with my life, and they don't understand, for instance, how I can go on for years without sexual activity. When they started talking about their perspective on women, full of prejudice and derision, I looked them in the eye and integrated as much of the information as possible. I won't say it was effortless, but at least I didn't suffer doing it, although I felt a bit sad for them, for the levels of disrespect of which they're capable and the prices they pay daily because of them.
Afterwards, I had one of the strangest experiences of my life. I'd also visited my cousins because Lennín offered to get me some cannabis through a new contact. I'd told him I'd buy it and I thought he'd made the call immediately, but when I was there I had to ask him once again, yet I did it when it was already late. The dealer had accepted but didn't get there before I had to leave. I'd decided that I wouldn't get the cannabis and didn't give my cousin the money. When I returned home, again drawing as a woman cried out against Satan, my cousin told me that the dealer had come through and that he had to pay for it. I was shocked to find that I could give him the money and let him keep the plant too. He refused, however, something he would've never done before. Instead, he came all the way to my area to give me the cannabis and receive the cash. He was really anxious about being in a different zone of the city and I sensed his mistrust about me too. After all, why would I pay for the plant and give it to him, right? There must be a catch.
I wondered about my own actions, questioning whether I was resisting something, but at no moment during this situation did I feel like I'd made a mistake. I didn't feel anything even remotely resembling regret, every choice and word were intuitive. As I meditated on it later, I realized that I'd sacrificed both the money and the cannabis, desirable things, and that I've had to do the same for years with my sexual appetites in order to reembrace the respect that I owed every woman on the planet. I received the plant all the same after I renounced it, and my interest in female company was rekindled instantly. On my way back home I thought that those who can give up their desires aren't susceptible to any kind of control. It was a very important revelation.
Reward, restitution. Acknowledged and properly repaired offenses open the way for productive relationships and auspicious environments. Accept your payments consciously and nobly, everything that you give returns multiplied. There are victories disguised as failures, what happens is always the only thing that could occur with the dominant pattern in each context. The Rune calls for agility of movement and thought, diversify your actions and investments. Certain parameters must be broken in order to allow the necessary modifications of vision and reach. Every strategy involves risks, that which protects you also makes you unadaptable. Question yourself about the validity of your current paradigm, introduce changes; what you resist weakens you, what you integrate strengthens you.