When you told me to give you some time and space to make things right before getting back with me, God knows how much I prayed so He will help you make the right choices. I stayed still in the midst of whirling what ifs. I remained there in the exact spot you told me to wait for you. I waited patiently and unmoved by other people’s pity.
Then one day, I woke up to news of you and her. I was stunned and could not convince myself to wake from that silly dream. Because it wasn’t a dream. It was that kind of pain where you just want everything to disappear except the chance of us getting back together. Days slowly passed by and I was finally accepting the fact that “you and I” had been replaced with “you and her”.
I felt dying while shedding silent tears day by day. It was horribly tormenting trying to put back the broken pieces of my whole being. I did hit rock bottom. I loved you that much. I did. At first, I questioned myself of the things I lacked. Why? What’s wrong with me? Those questions drained me more as I could not find a valid reason why you left me. I had no idea where everything started to change between our love. I then felt insecure about almost everything about me - my looks, my hair, my outfit. Then I remembered someone telling me that “If God had to remove someone in your life, believe that that person isn’t supposed to be with you for the rest of your life just like how He will eventually make you meet the true love of your life.”.
After days, weeks, and months in that dark dungeon of heartbreak, I finally made my way out. I realized that if we are not really for each other then I should just be happy for you and should just wait for my own lovestory to be unveiled. I started picking up the broken pieces of myself little by little. I gave time to those who stayed. And I learned to love myself like I ought to. Then somehow, I managed to be be here - unbothered by our breakup. Now I can finally say that despite of the many broken promises, I still have to be thankful to you. Thank you for the times you made me giggle by your cheesy pick up lines. Thank you for the memories of us being happy. Thank you for making me feel special once upon a time. And lastly, thank you for letting me go.
Written on March 3, 2021 by @nikkabomb
Yes, I did gave up! Marriage is not and will never be easy! So how did I save our marriage? Well, see you in the next blog. (*winks*)
This has been @nikkabomb saying, “It isn’t over til it’s over.”
Nikka Mededa, the author
I am an engineer, a mother, an aspiring photographer, and also a blogger. Juggling all these may be hard but I quite find it easier when I learned to schedule my tasks. I once dreamt of becoming a teacher and so I get tutorials from time to time which adds to my pocket money. Thanks to my friend in Macao, Malou for sharing with me her sidelines.
I really love to fulfill my childhood dream of becoming an author and so here I am, in my little corner in the blockchain. I hope you had a good read and check out more here ---> @nikkabomb. Lovelots.