We have all been there. We’ve all had some great idea that was shot down by others. Our goals often conflicts the goals of others. When we don’t agree with someone or when our personalities clash, it could bring on hostility and more than often enough it can even go over to violence.
This is because we want to force others to take our point of view.
Violence is not the answer. Conflict can be turned into a positive experience if we handle these situations carefully and correctly.
We are not all the same and we don’t have the same goals. We are stubborn, hard headed people that want things to go the way we want to, because we think that it is the right way. Conflict often occurs when two people work together on a project, and their ultimate goal is the same, but the way to complete the goal differs.
How do we cope with disagreements?
Many people see a disagreement as a negative experience and often when we don’t agree with someone, we just give in to their ideas to avoid conflict. If we do this then we never learn how to deal with conflict.
People who avoid conflict are usually people who have a fear of being branded as “not a good person” or they are scared they will be seen as a trouble-maker. Some may even believe that they are doing the right thing to give in.
The fact of the matter is that avoiding conflict can be very unhealthy. It can lead to patterns that are self-destructive on the long run. People that avoid conflict never learn how to handle disagreements and this can lead to frustration and anger issues.
No two people are the same. There will always be certain things that people don’t agree with because of their differences.
Not resolving issues can lead to even more stress and can result in the following:
- Anger outbursts. One person can only handle so much stress and issues before they finally give in. This is not a good thing. All the built up anger and stress can make a person say hurtful things and they can be very disrespectful.
2. Depression. If you hold on to too much it is bound to become too heavy and you might give in. Depression can make you feel worthless.
How do we resolve conflict in a healthy way?
If you don’t agree with someone, don’t go over to violence in the first few seconds even though you might be very angry. Fighting is not the solution to the problem. Walk away and come back once you are calm.
Call the person to the side and sit down with them so that you can discuss this situation. Talk calmly and have a proper conversation about the issue. Discuss the issue calmly and make sure to listen what the other person has to say. You have to be open so this can be a valuable growth experience. Once both parties had their say, see if you can find a middle-way. If the situation is still not resolved, then ask a third party to sit in and give advice.
Trying to find a solution is better than avoiding the problem. Conflict can often be a way to build stronger relationships. It can also help you to become creative in ways you never thought. When you resolve conflict it helps you in many other ways not only in the workplace or in school, but with other relationships. You will not be scared in any relationship because you will have the necessary skills to deal with these issues.
There are certain conflict situations where it is better to just withdraw and walk away, while others give you a better explanation of what to do.
1. Step away when someone is being unreasonable and not listening to your point of view. There is no use to communicate with a fool that do not want to listen.
2. When you are in a dangerous situation where you are being mugged/assaulted/hijacked, just give up and let them take whatever they want. Don’t fight back and get hurt because of a worldly possession. It is not worth your life.
3. When the boss/teacher forces you to do something even though you might not agree with it. Don’t be stubborn and show them what you think, just give in and do it. As long as it is legal there is no harm to just give in sometimes.
4. Sometimes in relationships we have to compromise. Compromising is NOT giving in, but giving the other person respect. We can’t always get what we want, and often we have to give in so that we could have a chance at the next opportunity. You might now want to go out but your friend does, so go out but make a pact to stay in the following night to do what you wanted to do.
Improve your communication skills so that you can effectively learn how to deal with these conflict situations in your life. Life will be so much easier if you don’t avoid everything that comes your way.
