A taste for life

The sky was a deep blue velvet, studded with diamonds, there was not a cloud in it to mar its beauty. The air was balmy with the scent of the golden magnolias and jasmines. The cool breeze that blew after the heat of the day and the heady fragrance of the flowers sent me into a trance. I wouldn’t have been surprised if my skin was covered in gold dust, it was truly a magical evening. Maybe because it was my first time out in many years.

The rustling of the leaves on that late September night, under the pale light of the moon added to the ethereal quality of the atmosphere. The leaves shimmered and shuddered in eager anticipation. The silvery moon was casting its glow on everything, making it seem surreal. I pinched myself to make sure that I was not dreaming. I was in the seventh heavens, the soft music of the bamboo trees and palms moving in the gentle breeze made me sway rhythmically from side to side. There was something in the air that night, there were goose bumps on my hands and a tingling on my spine, my sense of anticipation heightened. He would be here now, any minute.

Seven years ago...

Life had not always been this good, sweat and tears were my only companions. Ignored and ill treated by my new family, I had become the voice of silence. My parents accidental death had made me a prisoner in my own home. As a 17yo I helplessly watched my house being invaded by people who called themselves my relatives and tried to make a slave of me. Until then I was a simple, quite girl whose life revolved around her family who had not known want or hard work. I was the princess in my home and my wishes were my parent's command.

After my parents death I had become a ghost of my former self. I had forgotten how to laugh and sometimes even how to cry. I had lost my taste for life, I was numb mentally and emotionally for seven years. It was a kind of robotic existence.

When hope is lost everything is lost. It was no wonder that I had lost my sense of awe and beauty. I had forgotten that there was the everyday magic around me, I was lost in myself and to myself, blind to the world around me. Into that frozen emotional world, spring entered abruptly, rather unexpected in that late September evening.

It was around dusk that I decided to go out for a walk, I had not ventured out on my own for years. There was this deep longing within my soul to go out, the moon was already rising, full, bright and beautiful. I walked to the church nearby, the only place I was allowed to go to. The white church building looked ethereal under the silvery rays of the moon, the spires looked longer and the Gothic arches looked more beautiful than ever.

The Gulmohar tree in front of the church looked like a silver umbrella, ready for the elephant lead procession. The bushes of yellow dahlias in front of the church, looked like they were made of fine, polished gold. The plants had just been watered at dusk, after the merciless rays of the sun relented. The smell of soil was still in the air, causing me to be still and dreamily take in the atmosphere. Where had I been all this while I wondered. New hope rose within me and grew steadily as I took in the beauty around me.

Walking into the garden behind the church, lit only by the silvery moon, I could smell the golden magnolias and the silvery gardenias close by. It felt as if heaven's breath touched the Earth with its fragrance. I could hear the pianist and the violinist play a happy melody making me waltz around the garden. I looked around in the fear that I might be watched, seeing no one around. I danced as if moved by a mysterious power within. My voice rose from deep within, broken at first and but soon blended in with the music.

It was the soul’s song, a song of hope, freedom and joy. I sang for myself, for my lost happiness, and my lost youth, my song gradually became sweeter and the softer until it became a whisper.

A gentle breeze released the petals of the Java cassia tree under which I now stood and it rained its beauty on me. The caress of the petals on my skin made me all tremble with delight and aroused within me those feelings that had been locked up for years. Feelings I'd never hoped to experience anymore.

The sensual feeling of pleasure spread through my body gradually, like the blooming of a bud. My face felt the impact, the warmth and color it had not seen in the past now worked their way through my cheeks. As I was still reeling under the unexpected pleasure of what was happening to me I felt a pair of strong arms around me. I opened my mouth to scream and it was covered by the taste of heaven.

Swept off my feet I was devoured in a kiss. It was my first, followed by a rain of kisses, like the cassia blossoms that fell on me just a while ago, only producing a stronger effect this time on my newly awakened senses.

I knew him, even though I could not see him clearly. He was the playmate of my childhood, the one who had followed me everywhere. I remembered his scent, not of his perfume but of his person. Ralph's family had moved to Canada when he was 19 as his father's became the country's ambassador to Canada. Ralf had to go even though he was not happy with that move. He promised me then that he would be back. This happened in the summer before my parents died in that terrible accident.

I knew in my childish mind that he loved me, but I dared not think of this. Who knew what had become of him or how he had changed in all these years. I refused to think of him, I had no hope of ever being free from these wealth hungry predators who hounded me day and night. I had no hope of ever living a normal life.

Regardless of my past his touch awakened in me something I didn't know much of. In his arms I came alive and without my knowledge, I was even seeking more of it. His hands, like a million fireflies were all over me. I struggled to my feet as I became aware of what was happening. He held my hand, kissed it and slipped a ring on my fingers. We spoke for a while and before I knew what had happened, he had vanished into the silvery night.

Still shaking with excitement I walked back home, unwilling to be seen in that happy state, I was afraid that the monsters in my house would steal this moment away from me. I took the back entrance to the terrace hoping to savor the feeling a little longer. I shook off the seven years of pain in a moment, from now on I could hope, I could dream! My dog looked into my eyes with his bright and shining eyes. He suddenly ran across the terrace chasing after a leaf, he looked like a happy puppy once again. I could still hear Ralph's voice calling softly into the night, “Wait for me my love, I will be back soon.”

Now...
He was true to his promise. He was back within a few days, he had fought with my captors on my behalf and freed me from their clutches. He gave me back everything I had lost even my very soul. Now, looking into the unending ocean of shadows and glimmering lights as far as the eye could see, I was happy to be me. The ring on my finger screamed to me, that he was mine and I was his. Life had never been more beautiful. I had acquired a new taste for life and I was greedy for more.

Images used here belong to me.

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