For most of us, the province is not the ideal place to live for sure. We grew up watching the movies and without a doubt, all of us loved how the City looked. Especially, when we were in our teenage days. Mixing thoughts while thinking it's really nice to live in Cities. Those varieties like malls, celebrities we saw in the movies, and many more. I won't deny, I was that stupid back then to think I wanted to be in the City. Just don't mind me saying I was hoping to see pretty ladies and having parties like in the movies. Okay, sorry that didn't happen, you know those things, expectation versus reality. lol
At the age of 20, I arrived in a certain city full of excitement. Just my idiotic imagination that pushed me to love living in the city. I thought I'd change if I'd arrive there but too bad it was me who was awkward. All I imagined before arriving in the city betrayed me. I didn't feel amazing when I was there. Well, yes, I enjoyed it for a short time but I realized this was not the place I longed to be. I couldn't find a quiet place to stay when I wanted to. I couldn't feel the friendly moment because most of the people there were busy. It's understandable since most of the people there were working for a brighter future. Sorry, I couldn't think like them.
After 5 years living in the city, I went home. If it's alright to cry or if I didn't think I'd look stupid in my own thoughts. For sure when I arrived at our place there would be a flood. Yes, I exaggerated things most of the time. How could I be so dramatic when I wasn't home for just 5 years. Sorry, sorry, I couldn't help it, this is me and this is how I expressed things in my imagination.
When I arrived home, I went immediately to the shore. I made myself ready before I inhaled a long breath. Nostalgia. That feeling was on my chest that even though I was happy I felt like crying. I missed it. I missed this feeling of seeing the people in our small village and seeing the beautiful environment.
As if that was my last day in the world because I squeezed every feeling that I missed. There was no rain back then but I felt like I was a soaked puppy who felt very lonely. No, the world didn't abandon me but it was just me who overacted. I was not lost in the desert but I wondered why I felt so thirsty with that scenery. I wasn't broken too for me to feel that broken heart. It's just that I missed our place and I decided to live here no matter what happens.
Why would I not miss our place when I felt like everything around me was beautiful. Never mind the gossipers, the job opportunities, the internet connection and many more far from the good things in the cities. Just mind the quiet place you can find when you want to. The beautiful people in the whole small village that you can be friends with even though you'll have some misunderstandings. Most of all, the beautiful feeling I will have by living in this place feels like a paradise.
Sometimes I looked back at the opportunities I missed when I was younger. That dream of my family's dream when I was still studying. Their expectations that I failed to achieve are still troubling my heart. Of course, I'm still dreaming even now, especially when I felt lonely because I didn't know the reasons.
I have no plans to disappoint them more but for now. Let me live in a place where I love so much. Let me be happy by staying alone in my treehouse while watching the world. I know it will not always be but I want to caress it while I still can. I was tired of having so many regrets because of the things I couldn't do. Like how I love to sing a song but I decided not to because I don't know how to sing it.
I'm not sure if I will be victorious in the future but one thing is I'm sure of. At this place in our small village, I found my happiness.
Thank you for reading
All content is my own unless otherwise noted
If images are being recycled, I just found it fitted to my article.
ABOUT ME
Paul is the name but prefers to be called mrnightmare that feels like living in the dream. A country boy and a dreamboy (dreamer) who likes to stay in a small village even though it means abandoning the future to become a seaman. The passion is writing but not sailing in the vast ocean. Don't wonder if the face will not be shown, this is better where the words can flow smoothly. Come, have fun with me talking about life events and random activities. It's fun to learn about life, don't hesitate, let's figure it out as we continue enjoying staying in this world.