Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay
When the children under 12 in your household all gather around the phone to talk to each other – the sheer act of ten different children in two different households stopping whatever they are doing to gather up to discuss a question – you know it is going to be epic, and yes, you had better pay attention and prepare yourself.
“So, I was saying to Milton that I overheard Grandpa talking about robust testing systems on his work Zoom, and that led to the thought that at home, dads and granddads and big brothers are really the robust testing systems. But then Milton added something deep.”
“Yep, George. We all know God is a Father too.”
“So then that became more than our brains could hold, so we asked all of you to come think about it with us.”
“Wow,” said Gracie Trent, who was 8. “That is a whole lot. Let me get Goldie (the cat) and Goody (the dog), because God made them too and we need allllllllllllllllllllllllllll minds on this.”
(Captain Ludlow, Sgt. Trent, and Melvin Trent all felt like chopped liver as adults not yet considered, but all of them had the wisdom to know … little children do live in their own world.)
“Maybe I should also get my Bible,” said Velma Trent, who was 11.
“You took the words right out of my mouth,” said Andrew Ludlow, who was 10. “I need to clean my glasses, too, so I can actually see … and maybe wash up, because I am going to hear it from the robust testing system over here about mud prints on the Bible.”
“Oh, that is going to be an instant fail,” said Gracie, “just like it would be over here with Dad and Bruh Melvin.”
“Fs on tests are no fun!” Amanda Trent, who was 7, whined. “Please wash up, Andrew – you're too smart to fail at a test like that!”
“We'll wait for you,” said Eleanor Ludlow, who was 11. “I think I will get my Bible too.”
Everyone did what they needed to do, and that allowed Captain Ludlow to quietly draw Mrs. Ludlow into the observation, and for Sgt. Trent to call Mrs. Trent-soon-again-to-be and put her on to hear the discussion.
“Okay,” said George Ludlow. “So, if dads and granddads and some big brothers are robust testing systems, and God is a Father, where do we go from there?”
“To the beginning,” Velma Trent said. “God said He made man in His image, and He was talking about Father Adam and Mother Eve.”
“You know, this really helps,” said Grayson Ludlow, who was 6. “We know Grandpa's superhero secret identity is the Winter Wolf, but Grandma just doesn't seem like a Wolfette.”
“Nope,” said Eleanor Ludlow, who was 11. “She's just not wolfy at all. But Andrew, you were just reading to us yesterday about all the different systems that make up things … so maybe families are made up of different kinds of systems too, and Grandpa is running the robust wolfy systems.”
“Now that makes a lot of sense,” Milton said, “because Dad and Bruh Melvin have that locked down over here.”
“Okay, but, wait a minute,” said Edwina Ludlow, who was 8. “Does that mean God has a robust wolfy side too?”
“That's where the brain overflow part came in,” George said.
“I think He thinks of it as more of a lion side,” Velma said. “Somewhere in here, He calls Himself the Lion of Judah.”
“That makes even more sense,” Andrew said. “You gotta put a little extra respect on God's personality anyway, because He is God, after all.”
“Right,” all ten children said.
“Okay,” said George, “so this is important because, well, I don't know how much we've told you, but, um, we're with our grandparents because, um … .”
“You don't have to explain it,” Velma said gently. “We all know families in which kids can't be with their families and have to be with their grandparents. We were with our grandmother Gladys for a good while.”
“It doesn't feel good,” Amanda said, and then ran to Eleanor's open arms as she started crying.
Everyone stopped and comforted Amanda … but it felt good to Amanda to know she was actually not alone, and her friends the Trents understood.
“So, um – I mean, that wasn't the easy part because the next part is just as hard,” George said. “So, um, if God is a Father, and He has a lion-like robust testing system when people try stupid things on Him … does that mean that adults get in trouble just like we do when we disobey and don't listen?”
The Ludlow grandchildren and the Trent children had to consider this theological question in silence for a long time – only a minute, but by the standards of small children, that was an eternity.
“I think so,” said Velma Trent at last. “Back at the beginning, when Father Adam and Mother Eve ate that fruit, God was all over them about it, just like our dad, Bruh Melvin, and your granddad would be.”
“Yep,” Andrew said. “I can just imagine Grandpa putting up a flaming line and daring us to cross it if we emptied the cookie jar a second time – that's just what you would expect from God, except, you know, God can have an angel stand there for half of eternity and hold a flaming sword for Him instead of standing there with blazing blue eyes until we all give up.”
“So, that explains half the trouble in the world,” Eleanor Trent said. “Adults too are still trying to have their own way, and they are getting failed, left and right.”
“And sadly,” Milton said, “as the adults are failing, the children have to go along for the ride. We've all been there.”
Another long moment of silence, during which there was not a dry adult eye anywhere around.
“But hey,” Robert, the youngest at 5 years old said, “that also means God is the best clean-upper, and has taught Grandpa and y'all's dad and Bruh Melvin too!”
“Yep, it surely does, because we're safe again!” Amanda cried.
“That's probably where your non-Wolfette grandma, sweet Mrs. Ludlow, comes in to help on that side of the image of God,” Milton Trent said, “and it surely does help when Mom visits over here!”
“Yup,” Edwina said. “Your mom is so nice – we can't wait until she comes to stay for good!”
“She's coming so – no, well, wait a minute, I can't talk about that yet, because my robust wolfy testing system dad said no,” Gracie said.
“Good save, Gracie, good save,” said Velma, and gave her a big hug.
“But see, that's it, right there – it just came to me – thank You, Jesus,” said Andrew. “We're practicing. That's it. God said that we are to obey our parents and elders and even a few Bruh Melvins and teachers because we're practicing how to obey God, and not be hitting His lion-like robust testing systems. I mean, look, getting to the wrong side of Grandpa is bad. Really bad – two adults in two weeks have found out how bad.”
“Yeah, but, Dad and Bruh Melvin would have shot that second one before we could even get out with our baseball bats,” Milton Trent said. “It's a good thing your grandfather just beat him up for us. There's levels to badness when it comes to hitting these testing systems and failing.”
“Exactly,” Andrew said. “So imagine if God didn't give us parents and grandparents to practice with before we hit His testing systems, head on? I mean, how many angels with flaming swords does anybody need in their lives?”
Another long moment of silence as the children all considered that.
“In some ways, since all of us have been through some things, we all know the answer,” Eleanor said. “We have already lost people for not getting their practice done.”
“Exactly,” Andrew said. “You and I – we Ludlow kids – are orphans. That's what George couldn't tell you Trents, but I'm ten, so you know, time to man up a little.”
“Our father had three brothers,” Velma Trent said. “He is the only one still alive. Those angels do not play in these streets with their flaming swords.”
“Which is why our folks now are never going to let us go out there,” George said as he wiped a tear away. “I heard my Grandpa telling Cousin Harry that he will kill the streets or the streets will kill him or he will kill us, but we are not going out there, not as long as he draws breath, because he couldn't be home for his own kids, but he is going to stay on top of us.”
“Dad and Bruh Melvin are on the same page,” Milton said. “Robust wolfyness on 100 over here too, and then there's our grandpa – y'all haven't met Thomas Stepforth Sr. yet, but his secret superhero identity is Lord Airstepper, and that man dunked on and destroyed a whole car to get our mother out of the streets. So, yeah, no, we're not doing any of that. I'm just 9. I need to live until I'm at least 30. I'm not thinking about crashing through all the robust testing systems God has around me!”
“I heard about that!” Eleanor said. “Grandpa has that story in his collections of old men doing the darn thing for their families – that's your grandpa!”
“Oh, wow,” Grayson said. “Our Grandpa is the Winter Wolf, and their grandpa is Lord Airstepper.”
“This is going to be the greatest comic book ever!” Robert said.
“I can't tell them yet that they are all going to meet – can't tell them yet, can't tell them yet,” Gracie was saying, and her big sister Velma gave her another big encouraging hug.
“You're doing good, Gracie!”
“There are so many good secrets in the world to tell, though!” Gracie said. “This is so hard, but, it's like Andrew says, we gotta practice.”
“Yep, Gracie, we gotta practice.”
“We all have to practice!” Milton said. “Do you realize we have discovered the secret to half the trouble in the world – and how to avoid making more?”
Another long moment of silence.
“Wow,” said Eleanor. “This was a really good conversation, y'all.”
“It's a good thing we are neighbors, Milton,” said George. “I don't know if any of us could find out all this good stuff by ourselves.”
“Look, George, call us any time! We are all so much better together! Think of all the angels who can put their flaming swords down and go off duty! Think of all the leave time there is going to be in Heaven so angels and God can do whatever angels and God do to enjoy leave time! Think of all the people like your grandma and our mom who have more room to do what they do because we are not going to be crashing as much through the robust wolfy and lion-like robust testing systems God the Father has set up all the way down to Bruh Melvin around us! Think of the crying that is not going to happen – and think about what happens if we grow up and have kids, and can tell them from the beginning what is going on!”
“Yeah!” George said. “Robert, you are the most blessed of all of us – and Grayson, you're right there with him! Y'all are not even seven yet, and you get to know all of this!”
“What?” Robert said. “I forgot.”
“That's all right – I got you, little cuz!” George said.
“Do you have me too, bro?” Grayson said with a huge smile.
“Bro, now you know I got you!”
“Hey, consider this!” Edwina said. “Grandma and Grandma are adopting us, so it's going to be even better when we are all officially brothers and sisters and have the same last name and EVERYTHING!”
“Just when we thought our lives couldn't get any better – yeah, that's coming and it's going to be a great day when we have parents and grandparents, all at the same time,” Andrew said.
“Congratulations, y'all!” the Trent children all said together.
Gracie looked at Velma.
“I see why God told Dad to tell me to keep quiet. He's going to roll all of this good news up together for both our families, but the Ludlows need to do theirs first so it's all perfect – they get new parents and our parents and grandparents get back together!”
Velma kissed her little sister on the forehead.
“You passed the test with an A, Gracie,” she said, “and an A is so much better than an instant fail!”
“Ain't it the truth, Velma!”