I was sat upon the lonely shore staring into the ripples of infinity. An endless echo of my lost thoughts reflected in time and space. Thus you will find me, forever contemplating, seeking to understand the moment that has passed. Looking to comprehend the Moments to come.
By: @Rubido
Yup I just wrote that. I enjoy writing Random shit sometimes.
Its dark and I've had a bit too much time alone. Not enough to drink.
I want to go outside. Instead I'm stuck inside.
So I'm going to pontificate, and Elaborate, Nay Exacerbate on the topic of...
Memories
Recently a topic came up about climbing mountains, and rather than start by looking at them up close. I'm going to take a minute to look at them from a safe distance.
You know see where the ground lies on this one.
I'm going to start by asking you to take a seat, join me on a little trip down memory lane and hopefully Ill do my best to keep this as quick and painless as possible.
Ok maybe its gonna take a few minutes, but still hopefully painless.
Its a brief tale about memories, Well Its all true otherwise it would be a fiction about memories.
Forewarned is forearmed, Its a bit heavy handed.
Why use a pen when you bash out the words with a hammer.
The year was 1989 And its my first lot of crystal clear memories. We lived in a little 2 bedroom house with plywood instead of glass, The place was a bit dark but comfortable enough.
I spent my days at kindergarten, came home to take charge of my little brother, cooked dinner for him, my Mom, my Mawmaw 3 aunts and my uncle.
I have reasonably clear memories of some of the day to day moments, but obviously with 8 of us and a dog sharing 2 bedrooms was a bit cramped sometimes. So they tend to overlap in places.
Ok Fuck me... critical much? A LOT of places.
Me I slept on the back porch with my dog Bandit. Not because I had to, My mom just never managed to stop me. He was my moms dog before I was born, but once I showed up he was mine.
We shared a blanket, barked at tow trucks and chased them together, ate from the same bowl, fuck me we ate the same food. We howled at cop cars. You name it.
To be completely honest I was more animal than man, Guess nothing much changed there over the years.
So anyway getting back on track here. My first stand out memory was triggered by hunger. You know that bone deep hunger after you haven't eaten for a few days. You feel like your guts about to crush itself every time it cramps, and you start to eventually just chew bits of paper, cause it eases the cramps kind of hungry.
That memory is a simple one and I will always remember it I think. I left my 2 year old brother at home alone, walked down to the corner shop and stole a candy bar. I got home and the little fucker had only managed to bust his face on the door handle trying to follow me.
I gave him the candy bar. He stopped crying. Problem solved.
That probably is what started me on a path that involved years of doing somewhat less than legal things (OK, against the law but shit, you gotta do what you gotta do.)
Hope you weren't expecting better, but no I'm not ashamed or sorry.
Now I lay no blame on my family's door step, My mom worked 3 jobs, my Mawmaw did the same, My aunts went to school and worked afterwards. My Uncle stole what wasn't bolted down and drank more than I do now. Yet Somehow no one ever brought home minimum wage.
So life was in a word interesting.
My next concrete forever kind of memory... Its my aunt and her boyfriend teaching me to play baseball when she first met the man who would become my surrogate father. My uncle Mike. Legend.
Still Miss you Mouse, wherever you are.
I remember him holding my hands on the bat, being patient. I remember him showing me how to hold my hands in a fight and getting me into boxing.
I remember my mom going hungry so me and my brother could eat twice a week. I remember her disappearing at nights to earn extra money.
I remember her teaching me to read and write, to QUESTION.
I remember my brother looking up to me after school, holding my hand because he was scared, and later Beating up the bigger kids who bullied him. I remember further on down the line when he stopped talking to me. I still know how that feels so I don't need the memory.
I remember my sisters who I didn't meet until I was older. 8 to be exact.
I Even remember my sperm donor who I met when I was older still. 12 and still I say... Fuck you.
I remember hiding every time the door bell rang. I remember moving from house to house more times than I can count.
I remember every sacrifice and every mistake they all made and the ones I made myself. Its all the backstory that helped create the me I am today.
But guess what I remember the most.
All those times things went RIGHT.
I remember teaching my neighbour in Special Ed class to Read. Little yellow bus my ass.
He's a Highly specialised Paediatrics and childrens care Nurse now.
I remember the Love that my Mom always gave me unconditionally. No matter how much of a mess I made of things.
I remember My wedding day and the honeymoon after. I remember Finding out my wife was pregnant. I remember My sons birth and his first day of school.
I remember every single day how lucky I am to be here to keep making mistakes.
Bad memories? Good memories? I cant say that truthfully it matters. Its just a memory. They leave their mark and we move forwards or not. Its our choice, our prerogative.
I can say this, in my brief 37 years on this planet I have learned 1 simple lesson.
Once you start creating your own memories you have no one else to blame. Its a lot easier if you do your best to make them worth remembering.
Thanks for joining me on this little tirade. I started with writers block and have finished saying way too much.
Hope you have a good one.
All photos taken on my chinesium Xiaomi Mi 11 lite except the last one, cant remember what phone @iaura had then.
10 down.
I decided I'm going to have a bit of fun on this 30 posts in 30 days. I'm going to do a post 31, and a giveaway on the 31st post, cause some months have 31 days or so I've been told.
In spite of my rough and ready appearance I'm an Antique dealer I know I already said it.
So it'll probably be old shit in your mailbox.
Stay tuned and engage down below . For every post from day 1 if you comment on it you will get one entry and a chance to win.
Then at the end of the 30 posts, on day 31 There will be a random raffle you will get a chance to win....
Really cool old shit.