The Brux Sux

In our personal and professional lives, we are constantly hit with one adversity after the other, most of which we have no control over. But the four things we have total control over is how we react, how we adapt, how we breathe, and how we take action.

Diamond Dallas Page

I found irony in this quote today. It's so true and yet, also not. Let me explain...

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Recently I wrote a post about having to get stuck into some physical activity outside as I was struggling with some emotional stuff at the time that needed an outlet. In that post I mentioned that I had injured my jaw and had taken painkillers, something I very rarely do.

Well I solved the jaw injury today. No, I didn't go to a doctor, I used my trusty detective skills.

For most of my childhood I seemed to sleep like the dead. Thunderstorms and lightning very very frightening? No - not for me. I'd sleep through ANYTHING. I do have some weird questions about this that will probably never actually be answered - I was talking to my sister about this a few days ago and it was that conversation linked with another one that lead me to discovering that on-top of my insomnia, I've now developed sleep Bruxism - which has turned into a very painful jaw experience for almost the last week.

The first time I came across the word bruxism was actually when I looked up what it meant when a pet rat's eyes started bulging and seemed to want to pop right out of their skull while they got petted and were sleepy. I kid you not! In pet rats, it's a symptom or by product of a pleasurable activity. People? Yes well us people apparently not so much. Bruxism in people is classified as a sleep disorder and is linked to stress, micro arousals during sleep (generally not the good kind) and often brings it's friends to the party. This is why I found the quote ironic. Sometimes we don't have control over our reactions.

The Trifecta

There's a possible 40% - 60% chance that I either have or will develop obstructive sleep apnea (where you stop breathing during sleep due to your airway relaxing abnormally and essentially closing in on itself - fun times right?) It is believed to be hereditary and I know that one of my forepeople had it. This is why I found the quote ironic. Sometimes we don't have control over our breathing.

Restless leg syndrome - tick. This one is probably the absolute worst for me. Luckily it doesn't seem to happen too often, but it is one of the most irritating things to have to deal with when you are trying to sleep. This is why I found the quote ironic. Sometimes we don't have control over our actions.

So "how to do you fux with the brux?" you ask. Good question!

Today I took action to address at least one of the underlying causes of it. It was not a heroic action, it was not my most shining hour - far from it, but I had to implement change.

Sometimes when you are stuck between a rock and a hard place, the only thing that you can try do is move. Choose a direction, take the reigns and action it or you will remain wedged in. I've been having to do this a lot recently and while many of these actions are by no means easy decisions and I find myself muddling for days to ascertain which is the lesser of two or more evils, ultimately something needs to be actioned to affect change.

Tomorrow I will need to wake up and live with my choices - live with my actions - all of them. It's called taking responsibility and ownership. It's called being an adult. I will do so, some of them will make me proud, most of them probably won't... but stagnate? - I will not.

Lift Heavy Shit
ā€” Galenkp

I shovelled shit today - literally and figuratively - because someone has to do it and that someone is me.


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