Follow the last post from @trangbaby about Vietnamese Women's Day 20/10. I would like to take up her challenge of writing my first ever letter to my Mom, who is the most special woman in my life. Well, why do I call this is a challenge? Because to me, it's actually tough. This is my 1st letter to my Mom to express my thoughts about her, and also the 1st personal thing that I've ever shared on a social platform. I believe that HIVE will be the best place to keep this letter so that in 30-40 years, I still can find and read it again. Thank you @trangbaby for her encouragement. Without her support and her positive attitude, there is no me today who's stepping out of the shell and writing up something personal that as an introvert person, I always keep things in my mind and hardly share anything. I think it's my biggest weakness which has been slowly improving since the day I joined this platform. Also, I'd like to take this occasion to say thank you to all the amazing people on HIVE who always support my posts and leave their sweet comments. Some people that I have never met in person but their kindness motivate me a lot and help me to reach for a better version of myself. There is seriously something's changed in my perspective of the world!!! I told my Mom that I had been blogging and she was so surprised that she had never thought that I would do something like this. Yeah, she knows her daughter so well! But that was me in the past! :D. I will show her this post when it's available on HIVE.
Dear Mom,
I know you might be surprised to receive this letter and wonder if this was written by your daughter! You don't have to ask too many questions in your mind. It's possible that as soon as you receive this letter, you will start to worry about whether something is wrong with me. Don’t worry, mom!!! My life is completely fine and my spirit is also extremely good. I just want to experience my heart once as well as save my thoughts so that we can better understand each other, and so that more than a few decades from now, I can still read what I wrote to you.
I really don't know where I should start writing now. I have to admit, I'm a very superficial girl when it comes to expressing emotions. Dad passed away when you were too young, at the age of 38. It was very tough for you to work by yourself and take care of 2 children who were still immature, without much support from the people around. For me, you are always the strongest and greatest woman. The job of managing an ice factory is not an easy job for a woman, especially when surrounded by male workers. You had to keep a very tough spirit and a decisive attitude, to be able to keep the career that dad had built, because it was also the only source of income for my family at that time. I knew that, even though sometimes you wanted to give up, but in the end because you think about me and my brother, you can't, you have to keep trying until yourself exhausted. Then finally you managed to do it very well, you expanded the family business in many different directions. Our family started to have many other small sources of income. But I know it was also the most difficult time, because you were alone and had to take care of too many things at the same time. I used to secretly read the letters in a black notebook that you wrote to dad when he'd just passed away, so I know the fatigue and exhaustion as well as the pressure you have to endure during that time. It's really not easy at all!
From the time I started going to University and left you to move to another city to study, it was just you living at home. Now, I feel extremely regretful because at that time, I was swept away by the luxuries of the big city, so I only visited you once or twice a year on the long holidays. I wish I had spent more time with you! Then until I graduated, when your wish was for me to find a job close to home and settle down, I did the exact opposite. I struggled to stay in the big city, took a while to find a suitable job, then continued to be swept up in the money vortex and the number of visits to you was also sparse. Around the time I returned from New Zealand, you once again tried to bring me closer to you by introducing me to some relationships. I know that all your efforts were for one purpose, to make me stay close to you. But I was never an obedient child. I always just like to do my own thing. You've never complained about that, but I know you were sad because of that. The day I boarded the plane to go to Australia, you asked me to let you see me off to the airport, because you might predict that time I may be away for a long time, but I definitely disagree, covered by the reason that I don't like it. In fact, I am afraid of tears at parting. At that time, I simply thought that every 6 months I could go back to visit you easily, but now, after 2 years, going through many events in my life, I still have not visited you once. You used to say that you love me very much, because you always feel that you haven't spent enough time with me. But I always avoid it, just because I want to show myself as strong as you are. All the sad things happened since I was growing up, I always tried to hide it from you. I know that was also the way you did to me in the old days, hiding all your sadness inside, and only showing your joy outside.
Now that you are 63 years old, the age that should be retired, your health is not as good as before, but you still continue to work hard. Both my brother and I want you to spend more time resting for yourself, but you always said that you feel bored when there is no work. It is your joy every day, and most of all, work makes you don't feel useless. At your age, many people have begun to enjoy life with their children and grandchildren, but you are still diligently saving. I know that you don't have much need to use money, you just want to save a little extra for your children and grandchildren. Sometimes life is so stressful that I just want to give up, but with your example, I told myself to keep trying no matter what. Up to this point, when I have my own small family, I have not been able to do much thing for you. There are still some promises that I made. I still remember and will try to make them come true. I just hope you take good care of your health, so that you can live a long life with us!
If there were a next life, I wish I would be still your child!!!