Was I asking too much?
God, I was so happy when I signed up as a member for the photo club. I really hoped that this would make my inspiration dip a thing of the past. And I hoped to make photography friends to be able to take pictures together. That is what I miss the most and what I used to like so much.
I started the adventure in good spirits and the first evening was exciting, but also fun. Finally, I was once again among the company of people who all had the same interest as me. Photography. And I sucked in all the information, tried to make contact… but wasn't discouraged when I couldn't immediately. After all, most people had been with this club for years and I just came to see it.
Time passed, and I always looked forward to the monthly meeting, but with each meeting that went by, I found that the contacts I hoped to make really weren't that easy after all. It became more and more apparent that these people really came together purely on this one evening, but did not undertake any activities with each other at all. And that put a little damper on my initial joy.
It is what it is, and I decided not to care much about it. After all, there was still photography going on, and I thought I could at least learn something on those evenings. But now the following started to come into play. In my circle of friends/acquaintances, I only have a few people who don't mind being photographed, and on top of that I'm not that fond of portrait photography myself. And most of the assignments from the photo club were … yup, Portraits!
Because I think I should try everything, I did my best and photographed portraits a number of times, for which I also made the effort to find models. But I wasn't going to ALWAYS do that anyway. It is non-binding in the sense that you are not obliged to participate, and you can also give your photos your own twist. A portrait can also be a portrait of an animal. Now, it is of course a fact that I usually come up with a dog photo. And yes, I also understand that they don't always think this is so original ... but to now openly give only negative comments on it while I took the trouble to participate and then give the assignment my own interpretation. I wasn't too happy about that. In addition, most who can portray a person will not easily get away with an animal, because that also requires a different way of working.
Anyway, that was the umpteenth time I noticed that I wasn't having a good time at all. Building contacts was also still a thing, and after being a member for a year and a half, I still felt like “The Newbee”. I just hate that. I tried my best, but no one responded.
In the meantime, Corona was also fully in the country and meetings were no longer possible. Everything was done digitally with teamviewer...but that's not what I was looking for. What I was looking for, going out together to take pictures ... I realized that once more, this was just not possible with this photo club.
The assignments we received weren't my thing either, and when I wanted to incorporate my own idea into an assignment, I got negative comments, it was criticized, called impossible, too controversial, too loaded, etc ... It was never good. And in my opinion, my creativity was suppressed instead of sparked. And sparking my creativity was ultimately one of the main reasons I joined in the first place.
That, and sharing a passion TOGETHER, going out TOGETHER… I found none of that in the two years I've been a member. On the contrary.
When an email came to my mailbox recently with the request to send in a photo within a week for a chain photo assignment, I took the plunge after a moment of hesitation. I sent an email back instead of a photo. Addressed to 3 people, that I cancel the membership and if they could give my spot in the chain photo to the next participant.
Done with the photo club!
I am done. My inspiration has not come back. Building contact proved impossible. My creativity was suppressed by the many rejections of my ideas, and my photos were denigrated for not submitting a portrait photo of a human model every month.
Sorry, but that's not my idea of a hobby. That's not how a photo club should be in my eyes, and that's certainly not how you deal with people who are members of your club. If you can't live up to certain expectations as a club, just say so! I could have accepted that or not, that choice was mine, but in any case make sure that no one has to feel inferior to another. After all, I also do my best, and I am also a person with feelings!
Unfortunately, this has ensured that my inspiration and motivation to photograph again has taken a hit instead of the boost I needed.
Do you recognize such a story? Have you ever had such a setback from something you expected a lot from? I'd love to read it in the comments!
Painting again!
The positive side of this story is that my creativity has found another way out. I am painting again, and I am having a lot of fun with it.
As for photography. My camera looks at me, and I'm sure I will respond to it again. All I have to do is look at the many photo contests here on the hive blockchain to get an idea of what I want to shoot, And now that there is no longer a photo club that cracks down my photos, maybe my inspiration can get sparked again. I'll definitely stay far away from photo clubs for a long time. The inspiration has to come from within myself.
For now I will try to do the shooting TOGETHER virtually with all the other Hive photographers. And the many contests here will provide the motivation to pick it up again.
Regaining self-confidence
At the photo club I didn't earn a dime with it either, and here on Hive I can earn something with it too ... if that no longer evokes motivation, I don't know what will. By the time I've "processed" this whole story and regained my confidence, you'll see my photos reappear. And until then… I'm waving brushes and paint over my canvas.
That reminds me that I need to buy some canvases again, because I'm working on the last one now.
Hmmm, since it's raining cats and dogs today, I think it will have to wait until Saturday when I can go to Action by car. Good thing, I've only just started working on my last canvas.