Hello, beefriends! I hope you are doing well. Happy Hive Power Up Day, I'll be doing the post for that later, but have already done my power up. :) Today I'm here to ramble on as I do about loving-kindness, and how often we let our fears get in the way of showing it.
So I've been listening to a lot of Near Death Experience stories on YouTube of late (and have read a bunch several years ago in books, too, lol). I find these stories fascinating and hopeful. Generally, every one of them, though they may have some differences, come back with some notion that our life here on Earth is all about love. Well that's a little difficult to believe some days, isn't it, when our world is so full of cruelty and apathy in the face of suffering? It's easy to lose hope or feel jaded when you look at the state of the world, watch the news, or read a comments section online.
When you watch small children - toddler age and babies - you see that humans inherently are pretty loving. Toddlers will hug and laugh and play with anyone. They don't have any judgements. So what happens to us?
Socialization, is my theory. You'd think that socialization would lead people to be more loving, but that is not often the way of it. Through socialization, we are taught social hierarchies: the "cool kids" at school have all the latest clothes that are in fashion or the best games that your family can't afford; if you can't dress in trendy fashions or buy a fancy phone or video game, you are judged by your peers, and so a social hierarchy forms when all the kids in your class should really be equals. Your parents, teachers, religious leaders, and any other authorities in your life are to be obeyed without question, even when they're wrong (and this is one reason why we have such scandals like Catholic priests raping children and getting away with it for years - people were indoctrinated not to say anything against an authority figure!). And so social hierarchies form, based on having power over others. Maybe your parents tell you to "stay away" from homeless people because they are "dangerous," or tell you that you better do well in school or you'll end up working in a low wage job like the server at the restaurant you are eating at. And so, social hierarchies form around class, where people with less money are seen as less than. Etc.
Pretty soon, you're making snap judgements about other people based on all the social cues you have been taught throughout your life, and deciding how to treat them based on those ideas.
When we all know the true rulers of the world are cats
Well OK, I hear you say. We can become aware of our subconscious (and conscious) stereotypes and prejudices, and work to overcome them! That is one step on the path to loving-kindness, yes. But is that all?
Not by a longshot, in my opinion. You see, you can unlearn your biases, and think kind thoughts, but still not do kind actions. And how are you showing love to another person if they have no idea about it?
What stops us from doing kind actions, so much of the time? Fear. Fear of being judged by others, ourselves.
Have you ever done anything that you were a little afraid of and then you felt free afterward? That totally applies to social fears, too - not just skydiving or bungee jumping!
A couple of years ago for an OpHumanAngels on that other blockchain, I bought a bouquet of flowers to give to complete strangers. That's a little intimidating! People might think you're weird! People might think you're crazy! But I faced that fear and did it. And you know what? I was giddy with happiness. Hopefully I made others smile (well they generally did, when I gave them a flower), and maybe I made them laugh (the one dude I gave a flower to looked at me like I was daft), but it was also a happiness for myself. It was utterly freeing to say, you know what? I want to do a nice thing for people, even if they think I'm weird. To toss aside all of that fear of judgement and propriety and just ...do a random act of kindness. Because we need more of those in this world.
So here is my challenge to you: think of a random act of kindness, a radical act of love, that you think would make you smile if you were the recipient, and go out and do it. Do it even if people might think it's "weird." Do it even if people might judge you.
Tell your friends that you love them, even if bro culture tells you that it's weird for men to show affection. Give a random gift for no reason to a loved one, or help them with some chore, just to show you care. Give flowers to strangers! I kinda want to do that again now...
Reach out and show radical loving kindness in a world that desperately needs it, and feel the love flowing through you. You not only will feel love yourself, but you never know who might have needed a sign just then and YOU were the sign!
