When life starts fading

I'd like to talk about something none of us like to think about and many of us fear, but I really don't want this to be seen as a pity party!

Most of us will at one time or another be faced with having someone close who needs caring, or it may be ourselves who's going to need the caring; not a nice thought, but we have to try and plan for that day.

When you think about it, we actually start ageing from the moment of birth!
Sounds kind of crazy and almost morbid, but it is true!

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Photo by Rod Long on Unsplash

I believe that we're put on earth to learn lessons and that life does not end here, BUT we need to make the best with what we have while we're here, no matter what cards life deals us!

When Mom Lily was diagnosed with an Acoustic Neuroma which I spoke of when Our Lily of the Valley turned 90, it sounded like a death sentence!
This however only affects her balance and there's the risk of seizures.

As Mom lives with us, hubby installed hand-rails to help her; bought sticks of all kinds, from three legged ones to walkers but she hates them and refused to use them! Our home is not designed for a wheelchair as we have stairs everywhere so that also was not an option.

There were many bumps and falls but no injuries until earlier this year when she fractured her ankle.

Naturally it felt like all hell had broken loose as the menfolk in our home could not help and as I am the only daughter the caring naturally fell on my shoulders; I was on duty 24/7 for the first 3 months as adult diapers this old gal was not using!

We had other options:

  • A Nursing home with frail-care facilities - the good ones are way too costly so that was put to sleep nor would I want my Mom who has always been fiercely independent, to be put in the care of strangers.

  • A live-in carer - we however currently do not have a spare room plus Mom already feels embarrassed that I have to take care of her personal needs, so how is she going to take to a stranger having to do that?

  • A state care facility - a definite NO-NO-NO!!!

None of those were considered, so hubby being the practical thinker, went out and bought aides to help make life a little easier.

A commode was first on the list plus a pressure relief cushion as she was going to be sitting much much more, and we did not want her developing pressure sores.
He ordered a kind of 'nurses bell' so she could call whenever she needs attention; she has the red button to call and I the blue button to turn off the hectic buzzer that will wake the dead!

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Although her legs are strong again some 7 months later, her balance has now worsened due to the tumour growing plus the weakened ankle not helping, so she needs support wherever she goes.

My family help when I'm busy as she can now help herself to a point but the bedtime bathroom duties fall on my shoulders.

Thankfully Mom trusts our housekeeper Cynthia, but she only comes twice a week; this gives me some relief as I can then get out a little or have a breather from running when the nurses bell goes off!

My little Mom has many bad days and gets really frustrated as she used to be a fitness fanatic who was a regular walker until her balance started playing up.

She however accepts that this is how things are now and tells me not to fret so much, but it unfortunately has had an effect on my health too, although it's getting easier!

I'm sure many of you have faced a similar situation, and I would love to know what you did to manage this problem, as there sadly seems to be no perfect solution to something we all may go through if we get to a ripe old age!

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Original Content by @lizelle
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