9/11 - My Father's Last Birthday

We were celebrating my Dad's 72nd birthday when news broke about the horrific attack on the Twin Towers and I will never forget his comment:

This is one date I will never forget!

Exactly a year later, we were saying goodbye to my Dad at a memorial service as he unexpectedly died after an aortic aneurism ruptured, just four days before his birthday.

All our friends and family felt it fitting that we held his memorial on what would have been his 73rd birthday.
The church was overflowing, people came who I had not met before that day, as my Dad made new friends in his post-retirement part-time job; many came up to me afterwards to say how they were going to miss his humour, patience and compassion.

Dad was the type of man who could not sit idle; he always had some project or other on the go, so when he was forced to retire as he had reached the cut-off/ sell-by-date, he was not a happy man!

Mom was occasionally helping out at Sizanani Academy of Sewing and Design at the time, which is run from their church premises.

A little bit about this amazing project - Sizanani is an isiZulu word meaning help one another; it's a Non-Profit Organisation that offers training in sewing and pattern making to unskilled and unemployed people; many end up starting their own little businesses or find work in the formal sector.

The church needed a handyman, and Mom told them that my Dad would be more than happy to work again. He was known as someone who could fix anything, went for an interview and was offered a half-day position as the handyman, a job he loved.

Mom became a regular at Sizanani, tracing and cutting out hundreds of fabric applique designs like the guinea fowl and ethnic designs in my pic below.
They started making shirts, stoles, place mats and a host of other useful sewn items; employing some of the talented seamstresses who had completed their courses.
This helped funding their outreach program which started expanding.

My placemats have faded somewhat, but this is an example.
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The church had an ancient VW Kombi that someone jokingly said only Dad knew how to drive. He would fetch many of the old dears from their place of residence and take them to church functions.

My Dad was quite the inventor, something I wrote about a long time ago where I shared many of his inventions HERE.
The two below are my favourites and both items I often use; a butternut or gem squash cutter and a cake/ tart carrier, with removable shelves for higher cakes. This used to be very handy as both Mom and I love baking and often had to supply cakes and tarts at functions, something we've not done for a while as there of course have not been any more big functions ever since Covid.

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My Dad was a super talented musician and as I told you just the other day in Our Lily of the Valley turns 90, he learnt to play many instruments; mostly self-taught.

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Dad is playing the concertina in the pic above and Mom the piano, although she says she could only play the chords; their pianist let them down at the last minute and it was a big competition that they had entered. They apparently still came second!

So why am I sharing this with you and not talking much about the event that took place 20 years ago in America?

In honour of my Dad who also did not believe in clinging to the past, always looked to the day of tomorrow and believed in working together.
We can change things by starting with ourselves, make a plan just like my Dad often did; invent our new future, our new normal, our new tomorrow.

We can never forget horrific acts like 911 and the people who lost their lives, but the revenge that often follows acts like this is abhorrent, as it only causes more division and hatred AND perpetuates the horrors!

Dad Malan, we miss you but salute you as you were a man of peace, a gentleman and friend to many; you left a huge hole in our hearts!

Malan Lily.jpg

I'll leave you to listen to the words of the hauntingly beautiful song 'There's a Hole in the World tonight' written and performed by The Eagles soon after 911.

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