An Ode to my late Mother

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My mother liked this quote. She had a really dry sense of humour mostly (almost to the point of not having a sense of humour) but on the odd occasion where she truly laughed in the moment, she brightened up the room.

Oh and cheesecake? Wow, we made some kickass cheesecake together!

It has taken me a long time to write anything, the depth of emotion cannot be translated into words right now and that's ok.

Even though our parting was unharmonious, she had qualities that I always admired and appreciated. She was a fighter through and through. She never backed down from a challenge in life. She was an amazing craftswoman with an exceptional eye for detail and a compulsive drive for perfection. She was a "get it done" force in the world.

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This is the knife she gave me many years ago, with a black onyx handle that she cut for it. She liked the fact that I collect blades and I feel honoured to have this one in my collection, it's my most prized, precious knife, one of a kind, as unique as she was. I know it's a material thing, but that's not what it special about it. The time, effort, love and care that she put into crafting the scales is what I hold close to my heart.

I think that she tried to show me in weird ways that it's okay to be a bit different, it's okay to be a bit weird and eccentric.

One year on September 24th which is National Braai Day here in South Africa, she sent me a message saying "Be a rebel - make soup instead". I love that she didn't do things just to go with the flow for the sake of fitting in to a societal box and I've missed her for a long time now.


It's been a while now ma since we last spoke

But I have thought of you every day

It was a difficult road for you towards the end

For the longest time, you were the strongest person I knew, that even death stood back for a while, knowing the fighter that you were

I hope that now you can feel safe again

I hope that now you can feel peace again

I hope that now, you can feel whole again

I hope that now, you can allow yourself to feel love again

Thanks Ma, I'm still learning from you. You laid down some good building blocks for me. May you rest well, in the Sea of Tranquility.

How true it is that we often sail to distant shores seeking that which lies hidden in our own heart, our own home. The Sea of Tranquility is not a place; it is all places, for it is buried deep within all people. I picture this inner sanctuary as a golden ocean of light both warming and refreshing – a place I like to call The Sea of Tranquility - Thomas Kinkade

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