What's the scent of your violets?

How easily do you forgive people? Can you go now and light a candle for the person who did you the most harm? Can you feel compassion and actually pray for them to be better, to find their way back to themselves? If you ever experienced cruelty from another human, which I am sure you did, you can probably imagine how hard it must be to transform anger into compassion.

Most of our lives we long for genuine connection. We want to find between those small talks people who will want to discover more about ourselves and be patient and trustworthy enough to wait for our heart to open up. Timing isn't always perfect. A soul is not a menu a la carte. Love ain't a fancy restaurant or a home delivery service. We can't expect the other to open up as fast we do. We can't put him or her under the pressure of doing things the way we want them to. A lot of times it happened in human relationships for people to lose each other because of their lack of speaking a common language. Because of a lack of understanding how emotional timing works.

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I have fallen in love with this quote and I feel the need to share it with you because it was the source of my contemplation for this article

Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.

Mark Twain

How many violets of your soul's garden have been crushed? Can you breathe the smell of forgiveness after you wiped away your lonely tears? Are you still suffering because someone walked with heavy boots on the fragile paths of your heart? I've been there many times, as I am sure that you were too. You see, usually those who love us the most crush us in the worst times. But consider one thing: they will walk away and you will be the only one breathing the odours of your crushed soul. What do you want to breathe in? Anger, resentment or forgiveness and peace? No matter what you choose, the one who hurt you might never return to apologise, repair or help you along the way.

Family trauma is sometimes unbearable. What a parent can do to a child or a child to a parent... Can be heartbreaking. There can be many years until the garden grows again. It is somehow a paradox that when people think of love, they rarely consider the fact that they will also give and receive pain. Love is not perfect and we often only later realize we might have judged someone wrong and crushed their violets mercilessly.

Finding the power to change family patterns will have a positive effect on future relationships. We can be sure of one thing: our garden, as beautiful as it might be, is not for everyone. Some people will not see its beauty, some will walk into it just for a short period of time, some might just want to steal some precious flowers and run away. But in rare cases, there will be people who will stand in awe and walk with respect in the garden of our heart. They will not only admire it, but nurture it. They will plant a tree where someone left dry soil and a shovel filled with tears. Those are the ones who will have the patience to wait for your violets to bloom before considering them weeds. Wait for this kind of people and make room for them in your garden. It's worth it.

This is the latest article from my personal blog
https://maryhasnolamb.wordpress.com/2020/07/29/whats-the-scent-of-your-violets/

Have a great day and toodle loo!

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