A few weeks ago multiple local supermarkets offered three different cans of monkey business. The Eichbaum brewery was as crafty as a cartload of monkeys and I could not resist their alluring offer of fancy, intriguing craft beer for ,-59 cents a can.
The Brewery
Eichbaum is a large private brewery from Mannheim, Germany, that I would attest a somewhat questionable reputation.
The list of beers they produce for numorous vendors with different random labeling is endless, but none of them excceed a 3 star rating on untappd.
The Eichbaum label alone offers two different Pilsner beers, with the 'Ureich' beeing pretty enjoyable, the other one absolutely not. Not sure if they changed the recipe in the last two years, but the fact that both have similar ratings on untappd is beyond me.
Now, according to their website they have a self proclaimed craft beer competence that they base on 200 test brews in 2019, with 12 malts, 22 hops, 6 yeast strains and 5 different hopping methods as well as various brewing methods. Sounds promising.
Know Your Beer
| °Plato | IBU | ABV % | Hops | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Blue | 13.2 | 18 | 5.8 | Mosaic, Yellow Sub |
| Red | 13.3 | 22 | 5.9 | |
| Orange | 11.6 | 34 | 5.1 | Vic Secret, Aurora |
One important fact to mention here is that all brews use hop extracts and the red candidate even uses extracts exclusively. Not something you expect from craftbeers and an indicator that shows on what a tight budget those beers had to be made.
Let's Suck The Monkey!
I decided to start off with the blue one as it seemed to be the most gentle on the palate. In retrospect I should have chosen the opposite, but whatever.
The blue can contains a wheat pale ale, which is a very interesting species that I never heard of before. Let's explore it.
Beeing poured into a glass it displays a rich, hazy orange color and a proper head.
Flavors of pineapple, passionfruit, honey and resin, completed by a very fresh smell, make a really nice impression. The fact that they fade really fast brings me back to earth and leaves behind just a slight banana and yeast aroma.
Although this beer is made of wheat malts it is definately an ale and not a wheatbeer. I can't really make out any wheat flavours nor the typical body of a wheatbeer.
On the palate it is again very short-lived and turns into a watered down beer very quickly. Overall it seems a bit diluted and I can make out some lactic acid, which I'm not sure if it is supposed to be in that type of beer.
Alright, the first one was quite promising at the beginning, but not very exciting at the end. Luckily the next two sound a bit more interesting. Maybe we find a little gem?
The red can goes into the glass and immediately makes my eyebrows raise.
It's color is not very appetizing and reminds me of a drain, or what you get when you mix coke with wheatbeer. The foam is fine but very short-lived.
On the picture it definitely appears a lot sexier, for some reason.
The first smell reveals a light bitterness, flavors of honey and again a nice freshness that fades quickly. After that there is really nothing going on anymore.
This monkey is dominated by acidity, followed by bitterness. As much as I tried, I can't make out the tiniest bit of the dark malts. The only thing it offers is a little honey flavor.
"No problem", I thought to myself. We still have my favorite style waiting.
How wrong I was...
The orange one starts quite promising with a yellow hazy appearance and the citrus smell we hopheads love so much. There's also some honey and again a fresh smell to it.
Then I got gutted.
The bitterness is dominant - which is ok with such a beer, if there would be any hop aroma whatsoever. It's just bitter and not pleasant to drink at all. In fact, for the first time in ages I was really close to dumping a beer...
Conclusion
I really don't want to trash a beer, but this time I don't have much of a choice.
Maybe I'm naive thinking that such a cheap craftbeer could offer more than a regular beer in this price range?
If someone bothers putting this much effort into the creation of a craft beer, why would they cheap out and go for extracts? Why hurt the reputation of craftbeer by selling the cheapest craftbeer possible in a high traffic supermarket?
In summary it's a very questionable beer range that can not be recommended, even at a ridiculously cheap price. Positive side effect: you won't get no monkey on your back - it is not addictive at all.
The blue one is decent for the price and deserves 2/5.
The red and orange are more in the 1.5 star range.
