Green Monster 00

Green Monster the beginning

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November of 2015. Still a high schooler, managed to get into an illustration workshop, happening in my town. On one of the days, we were tasked to Just draw, anything we wanted and we had 3 hours for it. Thats how the green monster was born. He was an accident some may say.
At the time, he wasn’t happy, he was gory even. But that was the beginning.
He had a sewn in eye, sewn mouth, an eye on the belly, which for some reason had blood.

Regardless of the way he looked, and the turmoil my subconscious uncovered, that was the first time I felt ease when drawing. I felt accomplished, happy even.

At that time of my life, drawing wasn’t a source of happiness for me. Im not even sure i had a source at the time. It was quite a dark time, even though i rarely ever showed it or shared.
My art journey started as a coping mechanism. It was an activity that could shelter me from the world around me, the world that i felt I wasn't a part of and couldn't even understand due to language barriers. And when the time came to creating my own ideas to life, the art became a struggle. I didn’t have enough skill, enough talent, and the most technically beautiful creations were the dark ones. That struggle continued for many years.

However, I persevered. Im usually the person who quits something easily, if i don't have enough passion for it. It seems even though art was a hardship, i had enough passion to continue and try and try again.

It would be 3,5 years later when I would draw the green monster again. During that time my perspective on art would continuously shift. I would make some cool things, for people, especially if it was based on something that was previously made. My skill would grow, but slowly. I would grow up, become a woman, meet people, visit places, fight for college, meet a long distance boyfriend.
I would battle with depression and for most part get out of it. I would still be lost, but i will be walking my path, even though at that time it would seen confusing, with no clear way to go.

Even though with everything happening around me, in my life and in my art, I looked fondly at the moment i drew the green monster in that illustration workshop. That ease, I wanted to feel it again. And i would…

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